Inner Child work is a continuous cycle, an ongoing process. When you have your own children, it brings out the work you have to do even more. For me personally, it was incredibly obvious. I treated my daughter in ways that I wasn’t treated as a child, and so I was able to give back to her and my inner child at the same time. She forced me to get on the floor and play, be creative, talk out loud to the fairies, dream about dragons, draw, and scribble.
What’s coming up for me now, now that I have a boy coming soon, it’s bringing me back to the times when I struggled with my identity. I didn’t feel like a girl, and I developed really late. I also struggled with my sexuality from an early age. I think this is something that many children struggle with - their identity and their place in the world.
Being pregnant with a boy now reminds me of how much I struggled, and it’s helping me do a lot of work that I’ve neglected or have put aside for other things in my life.
I’m very fragmented. I feel like I don’t have one inner child, but I have many, many inner children, as I would say, because of different levels of trauma that occurred in different ages.
I have a lot of inner teenagers, who are very present with me right now. In most of my spiritual journey, I kind of put them on the backburner because back then I wasn't friendly, didn’t get along with my family, felt abandoned - I wasn’t cute like my younger, cuter inner children that seemed easier to play with and nurture.
I didn’t develop until later, so I felt like a tomboy and it became a defense mechanism. If I acted like a badass, like a boy, then no one is going to hurt me or abuse me.
My first sexual experiences were all with girls because I felt like a boy on the inside. Back in those days, there wasn’t really a lot of frame of reference. At least now, kids have so many resources to help them to understand themselves.
I’m grateful the way it all worked out, but this is one of those things that is bringing forward now to heal that part of me because I struggled to understand the transgender community, only to realize that I myself felt that way for years. In so many ways, understanding myself more also helps me to understand others better too.
The more I have to pay attention to my trauma, it’s so interesting how you can feel so out of touch with yourself for so long. The more I get into my body, the more I have to surrender to my body taking me through this process of pregnancy. And now I’m having to confront all the trauma that’s still hanging out in there.
So when you think your inner child healing work is done, it’s probably only just begun. And remember that you probably have fragmented inner children like me, all waiting for you to come and help them feel safe, loved, understood.
I was the lost teen who didn’t know where I fit and was acting out, trying to figure out who I was. And as a teenager, I never knew who I was. So hopefully I can help those parts of me understand themselves now and embrace that teen who felt very abandoned.
I made it through school, got decent grades, dealt with a parent’s divorce, had to overcome use of both legal and illegal drugs. I dealt with a lot. And now, as a mother, the best thing I can say is if there are parts of you feeling uncomfortable, I invite you to see if this is an inner child wound. I’m pulling all these things I don’t understand in the world and reflecting on them through the lens of the inner child. And you may get some good insight for that.
I hope you can at least identify a few that you have and connect with them over the course of this pandemic.
Daena Deva is a long-time student of the spiritual arts and a highly sought-after psychic medium and spiritual counselor. Since childhood, Daena has been listening and learning to understand angels, spirits, and messages that not everyone can perceive.
She has the skills of a psychic, or the ability to experience someone else’s energy field and understand things about them, and the gift mediumship, or the ability to communicate with spirits on the other side, including angels and loved ones who have passed.
Daena has actively rounded out her abilities with a background in yoga and energetic therapy, skills that she enjoys practicing to help bring people physical and spiritual healing.
One of her life’s passions is reconnecting people with their loved ones and using her spiritual gifts to help them process grief.
She has attained Reiki Master Teacher, is a credentialed yoga instructor, holds Swedish and relaxation massage certifications, is a certified medium through the Morris Pratt Institute and is certified though Level 3 with the Melchizedek Method of Healing.
Aside from her spiritual work, Daena is a mother of an intuitive crystal child who is 5 years old daughter and has a baby boy due in June 2020. They reside happily in Rockledge, FL.
As part of her journey, Daena has studied:
- Sacred Geometry