Projection: the Art of Avoiding Your Own Healing


Healing is a complicated process. It is ongoing and bumpy ride.


One day you are flying high and the next, you are feeling like a failure and beating yourself up for your mistakes.


The biggest mistake you can actually make is to try to run away from your healing. After a challenging healing crisis, you breathe a sigh of relief and say, “Thank goodness that’s over with!”


You pat yourself on the back for your hard work and feel like you just got out of the spiritual shower. Your energy is squeaky clean from head to toe. You can’t imagine how you could have been so different. You wish everyone would be as healed as you are, but alas, they are not.


People with “low vibrational” energy stream into your life. You smile and say, “No, I’m not playing your game today.”


You keep smiling and they keep coming. You post a meme on your social media page about how you are banishing low vibrational people from your life. You walk away from people who “drain” you and more come in to take their place.


You start to feel the need for another spiritual shower.


Healing can take time to integrate. Like a muscle, you must continually work to strengthen it. When you start to notice too many “low vibe” people have entered your life, it might be time to look at your own energy.


Healing is personal and it’s own reward. Just because you felt the need to do it is no reason to judge another’s experience. They are having exactly the experience they need to get to where they need to go.


Your healing cannot be taken from you unless you release it. No one can drain your energy unless you are open to be siphoned, and one finger pointed at another in judgement means four more pointing back at you.


The Universe and your Higher Self know exactly what lessons you need to heal your own unique wounds. If you won’t look in the mirror, you will see a reflection of your healing needs in those around you.


Say, for instance, you find a particular religious group to be judgmental. You are so glad that you are not that judgmental. You search the internet for stories to post that show how judgmental “they” are.


You tell your friends that you won’t associate with “those judgmental people.” When a person from the religious group hands you a pamphlet, you roll your eyes and hand it back.


So, who is the judge now?


This is called projection. When we have something to heal that we cannot bear to face or admit, we will see it in others. That way we can learn about how “bad” it is without having to think that we might be the “bad” one.


It is usually the thing you find most annoying in others that shows us where we are projecting. Do other people interrupt you when you are trying to interrupt? Do you dump your negative energy on others then complain that you are being drained when they try to get it back?


What do you do when you discover that you are the one who needs the healing work?


  1. Forgive yourself. You are human. If every human life went flawlessly, there would be nothing to learn, and learning is what we are here to do.
  2. Know that like you, everyone is trying to do their best. Each person's “version of best ” may be different, but nobody  is deliberately trying to make your lifse difficult. Even the most malicious of gossips believe they are right in what they say.
  3. Learn to discern, rather than judge. It is okay to decide that you don’t want to be around a certain person because they lower your vibration, but when you place yourself above them as superior, they may actually find you to be the one with “low vibes.”
  4. Protect your energy. If you are feeling good, you can energetically shield yourself using the Pyramid of Protection or any other visualization that feels right to you. No one can “take” your good vibes unless you allow it to happen. In fact, the other person may be feeling annoyed at your low vibes as you treat them with disrespect for their perceived  spiritual deficits.
  5. Ask yourself, “Is this thought, action, or feeling for my highest good?” While you may enjoy one upping your friends on social media, is the feeling you get really worth it? When you whine about how hard your life is, and someone feels sorry for you, does that really help to make your life better?
  6. When one person feels bad in an interaction with another, nobody wins. While you cannot force someone to be happy, you can send them love and be grateful for the lessons they have taught you. Even criticism should not leave anyone feeling bad. If it is in the person’s best interest, there is a kind and supportive way to say it. Otherwise you are using it as an excuse to take them down a notch and drain their positive energy.

When you address your own healing with loving patience, allow yourself to make mistakes and gently guide yourself back onto your spiritual path, you develop a habit that will feel so good, you will no longer want to be critical or judgmental of others. You won’t proclaim yourself as “healed” but you will feel good, energized and more positive for more of the time.


While that may not be perfect, it is an amazing way to live.





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