"Holding the light," does not mean running in fear whenever you feel you are under attack.
It is not a passive, gentle act.
Think of the light as a child. Your job is to protect that child from harm.
So, given that, do you cry "unfair" when a predator comes up and starts to beat the child, or to you rush to the child's defense?
That is the ferocity you use to defend the light. It is not striking back with equal negativity, but standing your ground like a mother lioness guarding her cubs.
It is knowing with absolute certainty that you stand with the mightiest of Angels to protect something precious. There is no covering of ears and saying , "La la la, I can't hear the negativity."
Being a Lightworker is just that, work. If you are not prepared to do that, then the job is not for you.
Take heart, you do have the power to be just that protective. Your Angels will help you dig deep to find it. But you need to ask them.