Family and the Holidays

As we stand in the midst of the Holiday season, it can be hard to connect to the joy that others are feeling.

We do our spiritual work throughout the course of the year and when we are prepared for the grand finale of joyful bliss, we face what may be the biggest challenge of all, family.

If you have a good relationship with your family, then by all means enjoy this special time together. 

You may be estranged from your family and feeling the nostalgia of holidays past, or the stress of disagreements and trauma. 

You may feel obligated to visit your family due to young children or a nagging guilt that to be a "good child" you must go.

You may be missing a family member who has transitioned and wondering if the grieving will ever end.

You are not alone. 

Holidays are times of great intensity. It may be joy and fun or fear and sadness, but the feelings will be those that will stick with you for a long time. 

Returning to a family home can make you feel as though you are time traveling to the past. Like Ebeneezer Scrooge, you must face the ghosts who live there. 

Siblings and parents will pick up right where they left off decades ago. The youngest may feel that the older ones got to do all the cool things. The older ones resent all of the chores and responsibilities the younger ones weren't required to do. 

Some feel obligated to feign affection towards relatives that have done great physical and emotional harm for the sake of "keeping peace in the family."

 Do not judge yourself if you feel like you handled situations badly, and you do not "owe" anyone anything. The right to exist and be loved is not one that you must earn or pay back. 

If your blood family won't speak to you, turn to your soul family. They are the ones you are here to work with. You don't have to follow traditional dates and timelines, you can meet before or after the "big day" and have a blissful time with those who feed your soul, understand you and love you not in spite of your uniqueness, but because of it. 

If you choose not to celebrate at all, then don't. You do not have to cave in to pressure to join in on festivities if you don't want to. You can spend the day any way that you wish: walking in nature, reading a book or watching a movie marathon. 

Our birth families have the job of getting our souls to Earth. It is not your job to praise them for as long as they live. It is their job to cherish the precious being that they have been gifted with, you.

If they cannot do that, then you owe them nothing. Celebrate the holidays in your own original, magical way!

If you have the means and enjoy gatherings, you can invite soul family members to join you. What a blessing, to be with people you have chosen!

Whatever you choose to do, do not allow family members to drag you down that rocky road of holidays past. Meditate, sing, dance, walk in nature, keep up that great energy you generated during the year. 

This year, give yourself the gift of peace in your heart. Let others deal with the dramas they have allowed in their own lives. 

Stay in your peace, don't be a victim, be an example. 

Happy Holidays!