Judgment vs. Acceptance in Spirituality

For those who know me, you know my formative years were spent in Africa. Maybe that shaped me differently, but I have never understood racism or intolerance. The color of another person’s skin is part of their body. It is not their soul.I often wonder how different this world would be if we learned to see the soul before we saw skin color, hair, gender, body shape, age, or the extra things that catch our eye first like clothing, makeup, or tattoos.

Humanity has become very good at judging the packaging. And unfortunately, the spiritual community isn’t exempt. I see spiritual people criticize other spiritual people because they don’t look or act the way someone thinks a “spiritual person” should. She wears too much makeup. She shouldn’t wear makeup. Her clothes are too revealing. She dyes her hair. She shouldn’t dye her hair, it’s not natural. He’s too loud. She’s too glamorous. They’re too ugly. Sometimes it goes beyond criticism turning into gossip and rumors meant to discredit someone. How is that spiritual?

Then there is the other who puts on a front that they are so spiritual that even the things that shouldn’t matter become a matter. Where the things that are based on the physical becomes a way to show that you are spiritually better than. If you have to say it or point it out about yourself, you’re no better. Just because you preach inclusivity or tolerance does not mean it’s spiritual or that you are enlightened in some way. In most cases it is based in ego and an attachment to the physical things of life. As an example, there are people who will occasionally post photos without makeup or filters and say, “This is the real me.” First off, all you are saying is that you put more stock in someone’s physical appearance, even if it is highlighting not following standards. Hate to break it to you, it doesn’t make you a better person and in fact that’s not the real you either.

The real you is inside.

Think of your body like a page from a coloring book. We are all handed a page and some tools. One person carefully colors inside the lines. Another colors wildly outside them. Someone spills coffee on theirs. Someone crumples the page and smooths it back out, leaving scars and wrinkles behind. Someone draws an entirely different picture over the original.

Which one is the “real” picture? Perhaps they all are. They simply contain different expressions and experiences.

Our bodies are much the same. I call them our skin suits. We have been given countless ways to decorate, change, protect, celebrate, and express them. We may even choose to express ourselves differently from one day to the next. None of that tells you the quality of the soul living inside. We often think it does or assume it about someone else. I am not talking about stereotyping; I am speaking of judgement without warrant. And this is where I believe we need to challenge ourselves, especially within the spiritual community.

We cannot condemn intolerance while practicing another version of the same outward judgment. We cannot preach that skin color shouldn’t determine someone’s worth, while at the same time you assume that someone in Goth clothing is a satanist. Deciding someone’s spirituality based on their clothes, makeup, hair, tattoos, lifestyle, or appearance is just as bad as a racist. Another common thread I see in spiritual circles is Inclusivity. Many spiritual leaders profess about their inclusiveness and yet bar anyone who has a different viewpoint. The circumstances on the outside aren’t identical, but the habit underneath them is painfully familiar.

We look at the outside and decide who someone is on the inside. Truthfully, we all do this no matter where we sit in our spirituality. However, we are not powerless to change this. Every time we choose pure interest over judgment, true acceptance instead of self-contempt, and soul in spite of appearance, we begin to create a ripple of “truth” in humanity. Maybe changing humanity doesn’t begin with some enormous spiritual awakening or a teaching presented by a professed guru. Maybe it begins when we finally stop judging the skin suit in every shape and start seeing who’s living inside it.

But we have to see the soul first. That would be a beautiful place to begin.

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